The Glowworm

It’s all done. Everyone knows. Almost.

I can’t help but run “Slipping through my fingers” in my mind over and over and over again. And everytime I do, it feels sad.

Yes I’m definitely looking forward to Part 2. I know that’s another phase. One that’s going to be electrifying and happening especially with someone I compare to a spinning top. Yes. It will be alright.

It’s this part of my life that I’m definitely going to miss. My cozy little room. Being pampered by people I adore and just lazing around on my lappy not having to worry about the future. And suddenly that seems to be the center of my attention.

My future. A big question mark. In bold. In black. Scaringly big. Almost like its booing me and questioning my innocence/ignorance of not having thought about it so far.

All of a sudden, it seems there is a whole new responsibility. People say “you don’t have to change. just be yourself.” And all they want me to do is to just change. I am asked to be a big girl. Be more responsible. Learn to be independent. Start helping your mom in the kitchen. You will change. Blah. Blah. Blah. and Blah.

Just when things finally seemed to be happening for me, I feel like I’m a plant being uprooted ruthlessly and “put” in my place. Is this a beginning or the part where I lose a part of me? I have no answers. I keep searching and all I can feel is darkness and me groping around hoping to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Pray for me.


3 thoughts on “The Glowworm

  1. Hello Drama Queen……relax…is that a pointed remark asking you to help mom in the kitchen…
    I think u need to relax and learn from the Italians the art of “dolce far niente” (the sweetness of doing nothing/sweet idleness)
    To be brutally honest w/ you, YES it will be an uprooting but learn to establish ground rules so both of you can play fair once you are married.And NO you dont lose part of yourself, its actually you putting down new roots.Think of yourself as a plant. And YES you can be yourself and don’t need to change …others should love you for ‘who’ you are not ‘how’ you are(by that I mean how you behave/look).
    If you are groping in darkness, close your eyes and you will find the brightest light within you.
    And finally, quoting the famous words by Elizabeth Gilbert which I have fervently been sharing with every living soul that I have met or spoken to recently….Eat, Pray, Love.

  2. Wow… U definitely sounded like a counsellor there. Yes, you are right. I know it. Relax. Although, I guess its easier said than done. And I know its normal to feel this way. Everyone goes through it. I am definitely doing a part of what you said atleast. Pray.

  3. Hi my sweet little girl,don’t you worry about anything.Relax and enjoy being a bride to be.
    Yes you will be required to make certain changes or you may call it adjustments in the near future and I am sure you will cope up well.It is a huge step uprooting yourself from one place to another and starting over again.Life is nothing but give and take policy.Compromises and loads and loads of love can win any heart in any boundary. As for your Professional side Hard work, Patience and commitment will help you to become very successful.With all these plus Hope, I am sure you will find brighter than light brightness at the end of the tunnel.You will grow flourish and be well nurtured by Karthik and all his family members.
    Wishing you HAPPINESS throughout from the deep of my Heart
    Love Mom

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